Pushed forward through the depths of despair
saved by friendship.. still lost
alone I journey this pleasurable misery
the women I meet can't fill the void
will I always be this misunderstood
a changed life with every name and face
questioning myself.. my place
found solitude with the alcohol and drugs I use
is it all again something I would choose
spirit lost, life off course
will I ever feel any remorse
is my reputation staind, my integrity lost
by the pain I faced and the price it cost
will anyone ever come along, willing to save a broken man
or will I forever and always be alone to stand
ashamed and alone tormented by lack of recourse
I did everything in my power in the form of discourse
took all the pain & hurt and pushed it away
swallowed it deep inside forever to stay
6 years of memories fled
with all the emotion and hateful words you said
cried a lifetimes worth in a day
dried my soul and had nothing left to say
thought of all the times we had
tried to feel anything but sad
swore to never let anyone else in
left with a lifetimes worth of what could have been
bitter i paved a hateful road
to lead away from the life I chose
finally renewed my strength and confidence
without standing in my shoes none of this will make sense
scared to get thrown back out in the world of dating
my previous life in the distance fading
stuttered stammered and fell like a toddler
convinced myself no woman worth the bother
drunken i flew into her arms, scattered my broken heart across the ground
salvaged as much as i could find and left her without making a sound
tried to rise up in the midst of confusion
but my soul was stuck in evolution
drowned all my sorrows with buckets of beer
drunk behind the wheel and didn't know which way to steer
continued down my broken road
standing in the mirror i saw a douche and a choad
completely reckless and out of control
I learned my place and found my roll
decided to live my life full and complete
instead of surrounded by alcoholics to which I was trying to compete
I started fresh to find the man I want to be
and reflected on my life as far as I could see
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